Donna Louise here. Last night as I complained about today being Monday, I heard my last guru say, “Things are not as they appear. It is all illusion. Make the illusion something you can live with.” I rarely hear his voice anymore as he transitioned to another plain about fifteen years ago.

I told a friend of mine that my guru had transitioned to another plain. She asked, “What airport did he have to change planes at?”

To end the conversation quickly, I said, “Atlanta.”

Following my guru’s advice, I have decided to start the week on Friday, which has always been a joyous day for me. That’s one day of work followed by two days of vacation. Monday becomes the Wednesday “hump” day. So today’s my hump day. I plan to try this for a month to see if I’ll overcome my dread of Monday’s which will now be the middle of the week. I’ll let you know how it works.

When my guru “left” his body, I made the mistake of suggesting, at the weeklong mourning festivities, that he had died. Actually I made more than a suggestion. As one of his long-practicing devotees, his handlers allowed me to say a few words, much fewer than I’d planned.

As I looked out on the crowd and saw how many of them still considered this man the ultimate master who would continue to guide them from another world, I abandoned my prepared remarks, which had been okayed by his heirs, and talked about how he’d never wanted all this crap and, now that he was dead…

The collective inhale almost sucked me from the platform.

“Dead?” People started screaming. Those docile little followers turned on me. The security people hustled me off-stage, gave me a thousand dollars in cash and told me never to darken the doors of the New Mexican ranch given to my guru by another one of his devoted followers who planned to turn the dead guru thing into a moneymaking proposition. NOTE:  He’s still making millions off the dead man.

That’s why I wasn’t too surprised by the Kali Nuts and Ma MA I visited last September in Santa Fe. Like evangelical ministers among Christians, these gurus get so sidetracked by the adoration of their followers that they couldn’t hear God speaking to them short of a Second Coming and even then they would deny it as long as they could to make more money. Their followers have Religious AIDS (Acquired Idiotic Devotion Syndrome) and lost their way as well.

I haven’t ever told the story of my guru because his heir reminds me of L. Ron Hubbard and his magical mystical mayhem machine. I mean, come on, people, dressing up in faux military outfits and working on ships. Can’t you see how silly you all look?

Maybe that’s why they are so evil to those people who leave. I mean, if you realized that running around in a bizarre outfit signified that you were just as crazy as the founder, would you really want to be confronted with that information day after day? I wouldn’t.

Let’s face it. Religions and religious philosophies can make stupid people even more stupid. We need only to look at the world around us to see where total devotion to a religion, whatever the religion, can do to people and make people do.

Donna Louise’s Rule of Religious Devotion:  Devotion leads to obsession which leads to fanaticism which leads to all kinds of craziness like killing people and bombing them and other non-life-affirming activities.