Archives for the month of: November, 2011

Donna Louise here scurrying around to make sure I have everything I need:  clothes, toiletries, a beach towel, and my passport. It’s 3 a.m. I’m writing this post before I head out the door. I like to arrive at least two hours early so I have plenty of time to make it through security.

I have been patted down by some of the best, and the worst, of  TSA agents. Their Patting Down 101 course requires major improvement (gropers disguised as security people IMHO).

I hate to fly and will be so glad when I learn to fly on my own, but for now I’m stuck on commercial flights.

A little story about my trip, I booked a flight on Wild West Airlines several months ago to get the best deal which still cost me $518 round-trip, over half of that was taxes.

Wild West Airlines flies the planes with the big sheriffs’ badges on the sides. The elderly sheriff cowboy, who does their commercials, says, “Fly with us, pardners. We’ll get you there and back for cheap.” He lies.

I’ve never considered flying their airline, but the ticket was the cheapest, so I bought one. Within a week I had an email advising me of a change in my itinerary. There was no change that I could tell when I compared the two documents, except they put a zero in front of the flight numbers.

The email said, “If you accept these changes, please click on the button below.” There was no button.

The next week I received another email: same message, no changes and no button. Every week after, a new, but identical, email arrived in my in-box.

Finally I called Wild West Airlines to see why they insisted on emailing me every week. The conversation went something like this.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“YEE-HAA, this is Millie Ramsdick, your Wild West Airlines cowgirl and travel assistant. Don’t say anything bad as this call is being recorded. How may I ‘hep’ you?”

“Millie, this is Donna Louise, I have received eight emails from you about flight changes, but nothing has changed. What’s the deal?”

Millie:  FAA requires that we notify you of all changes.

Me:  But, Millie, I just told you there were no changes that I can see.

Millie:  FAA requires that we notify you of all changes.

I could see this wasn’t going anywhere fast. (To Be Continued)

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Donna Louise here wondering what happened to the Belt Boys. I haven’t heard a peep from them or from Stanford for that matter. Maybe the extraterrestrials are only illegal aliens of the most mundane kind. Yesterday while doing some last minute shopping for my trip, I saw a national trash paper with photographs of the ETs visiting President Obama, but they looked like the stereotypical gray kind, not the Blues Brothers.

Last night, I put down my ice cream eating spoon and googled ICE men. Most of the sites involved ice hockey teams in various parts of the States.

Hollywood released a movie by that name in 2004. I didn’t see it.

The most interesting site showed pictures of the Melting Men art installation in Berlin. Nele Azevedo, a Brazilian artist, created 1,000 miniature, seated, ice figures and placed them on stairs in a public square to melt. It was a statement about the impact of global warming on the polar ice caps and the subsequent rising sea levels.

Then I came upon a site about Immigrations and Custom Enforcement (ICE) officers who run around the country searching for illegal aliens, capturing them and deporting them. That gave me a better understanding of why the line cooks at the restaurant fled and also makes me wonder a little bit more about my ET friends.

Stanford is not answering his phone so I’ve been unable to discuss my issues with him. “Discuss” might be an inaccurate word to describe what I want to do with Stanford. I would go by his house, but, if I didn’t clear security, I’d be even madder.

I’ll just breathe in good feelings and breathe out anger. Ahhh, I already feel peace filling my body.

I must pack this afternoon because I leave for Puerto Vallarta tomorrow morning at 6:30 a.m. A ridiculously early time, but the only way to get to PV early enough to begin soaking up vitamin D to last me through the cold, dark winter.

No ICE men there and I’ll be the alien for a week. But, dear readers, I will post every day from PV to let you enjoy my vacation vicariously. I’m just that kind of woman.

As bodybuilder, movie star, former governor of California and playboy said, “Hasta la vista, baby.”

 P.S. I may not respond to your comments right away and, if I don’t, I will when I return home.